Shape of You

Version 2

Men. Men today have forgotten what it is to be a man. In today’s day and age, males are so insistent on being boys and “living free” that they can no longer encompass the true meaning of being a man. Being a man not only refers to putting on a suit at a wedding- which, by the way, every man should do; even your best pair of jeans are NOT formals- it means being chivalrous, being compassionate and taking up responsibility of themselves, if no one else. Not someone who can just pay the bills like clockwork. But also take a hard look at yourself girls- because you have become exactly that and lost the spirit of being a woman.

 In the frenzy of trying to find yourself the perfect guy, ladies, you’ve forgotten your own essence. You have degraded yourself and each other into mere playthings. Somebody once said that all things beautiful in this world were made to woo women. But here you are, silly little girls trying to woo boys, dropping your dresses for every monger who care to look your way in the hope that you’ll find someone. Do you see what’s wrong yet? Do you see why men simply don’t care anymore? It is only when you yourself realize your worth, will you stop settling for some dim-witted uncouth numbskull who probably doesn’t even know how he feels about you and wants to “explore his options”. Understand and grow yourself before you can ask someone else to understand you. Have more depth than a thimble.

Then there are those woman, who have fully grown into what a few decades ago was called a Lady but would today be called a “stuck up bitch” because she isn’t gullible enough to open her legs to every senseless, pathetic moron with a penis. But these are the women of substance. These are the women who climb mountains everyday. Whose beauty is like art to those who can understand her but vandalism to those who cant. But such people are not understood by all.

It is my opinion after interacting with a great number of people from various parts of India, that men of North-Indian origin are particularly wary of strong women. They have been conditioned into believing that a woman’s place in society or in a man’s life is simply that of an accessory. He is routinely threatened by the opinions and ambitions of the opposite gender for he, in his own little universe, is the supreme master. What defines a great guy? The fact that he doesn’t make you feel worthless? Or that he doesn’t insult you in front of his friends? Or the fact that he doesn’t raise his voice or his hand at u? This and a few words after. All those promises and letters of love are pointless if they always come with an apology.

It is perhaps from this tree of thought that distinctive narcissistic and egotistical tendencies sprout which may even lead to violence towards the opposite gender. The rape genocide, which seems to be pervading the Indian society as a whole would, be the perfect example on this matter. Why does a woman need permission to work or wear the kind of clothes she likes? Why is marital rape not against the law? Why do we continue to pray to Goddess Lakshmi and Saraswati but still raise our hands on our wives and sisters or kill our daughters before they are even born? Because in India, the man is supposed to be the center of a woman’s world and nothing less. It’s in our culture. And this injudicious thinking is what has lead todays BOYS into thinking that they are entitled.

What defines an amazing woman? The fact that she doesn’t question where her “guy” goes or with whom? Or the fact that she put the happiness of her partner before everything else? Or is it that she has a world outside of her boyfriend? Now most men will believe that the first two questions they have a God given right to get. The third one? They’ll quietly sweep it under the rug saying it isn’t part of the Indian Culture- A man is supposed to be the center of a woman’s world. She isn’t allowed to have friends or opinions after she gets married. The entire idea is complete balderdash! Just like it’s the fault of a woman if she gets raped.

There was a time when people in college were considered adults. Mature enough to take their own decisions and to be able to take care of themselves and their significant other. Unfortunately the same cannot be said now even if people are working. Referring to both men and women, the feeling of “entitlement” pervades both genders, albeit more in Indian men than woman. Entitled into thinking that they can go out and do anything with anyone with consequences. Entitled into thinking that they have no responsibility. Entitled into thinking that their parents will be there to bail them out of any problem. Alas, it is, perhaps, time to take a good hard long look at oneself.


“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn’t-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people…if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won’t associate with you. It really is that simple.”

― Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell




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