St. Valentine

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“What should I write about?” I worried as I asked my friend. With the elections going on, I had found little inspiration around me. Religion and Politics- messy. Then Valentines Day came along. Yes I can hear the audible groan that just escaped you! But don’t worry; I’m not exactly going in that direction. Lets take it one step further.

So, when two people get married, whether for love, or money or just because they can tolerate each other and don’t want to die alone, they make a promise that they would be there for each other in sickness and in health, in weird times and utterly boring times, through the highs and lows. Its all a very “love is in the air” sort-of-thing. We never rush into a marriage. After all, this is the rest of our lives we’re talking about. But why then do we rush into a divorce?

We take vows in the presence of God, friends and family to take care of each other. But when two people split up, they simply sign a paper to prove to the law that they are no longer tied to each other. Is this because we take our vows, our promises to casually? Or is it because we belong to the generation that believes in replacing rather than fixing? Fickle is what comes to my mind.

When we divorce before law, the courts ask us to go through therapy to sort things out. If in the stipulated time, we cannot figure out the relationship, we separate. So, I ask you- Why doesn’t the same court make it necessary to stay together, for a specified period of time, under certain conditions, before one gets married? This would significantly reduce the divorce rate.

“Live in relationships don’t work in India!”, you exclaim. Well obviously I know that. Aunties and their gossiping would drive one quite mad. But think to yourself, these aunties aren’t the ones living your life. In the age we are in at present, we have the luxury to design our own lives. Haters will hate, we just have to filter them out.

On a different note- What if the guy we’re with turns out to be the wrong one? Indian men are greatly influenced by the aforementioned aunties. So, it follows that girls who have had a live in with a boy, is unlikely to find another suitor because well “She has obviously ‘been around’”. Yes, she may or may not be a virgin, but that doesn’t make her any less of a woman.

Alas, women can be each other’s worst enemy at times. But its time to get out of the cage that we’ve forced ourselves into. Time to break the reins.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

– Steve Jobs

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