Harder to Breathe


“…Look at all the queens and goddesses of history,
No prince came to the rescue,
No king ever went down on one knee,
No deity was even that trustworthy,
Yet all we’ve be told since we were three,
Are fairytales, adverts, and pretty stories,
Telling us to pray, hope,
And wait to be saved.
Violent bumps from losing loved ones,
Losing innocence,
Losing dignity,
Losing looks,
Losing, just losing.
I’m craving, I’m starving,
For something real,
Something breakable,
Something tangled,
Fragile, imperfect and free.
I am starving
To be me.
Dear women,
Will you, at least, stand up for me?…”

Famous last words? I don’t think so. We celebrate Women’s day every year in the hopes that maybe our emancipation will truly begin now. But then we look back at the 12 year old girls who are forced to marry, the women forced to burn on the funeral pyre of their husbands or the parents who are so burdened with paying dowry for their daughters marriage that they’ve lost track of their own lives. We are never truly allowed to do what we want. Always in a role of a daughter, sister or mother, when do I get to be me??

Yet, a woman, any woman, is not suppressed as much by men as she is by her own gender. We judge each other on everything. From the clothes we wear, to the nail-paint we use, our hairstyles, our shoes, our phones or even the number of guy friends she has. Enough! For God sakes. We have no right to judge anyone because we don’t know the battles they are fighting and the demons they have to face. The only ones we should be judging is ourselves, but who want to think so much right?

Kalki’s epilogue was very inspiring. Atleast for me. She put together a lot of what I felt and made people listen. Today, we are faced with the biggest conundrums of all time- how do we live our own lives without offending anyone? So far, I’ve only come up with one way to do this. We can shed the shackles of what others might think, of being politically correct at all times, and just be true to ourselves. Or contrarily, we forget who we are, loose ourselves in the crowd and just go with the flow.

Now the problem with the latter option is that it often leads to a midlife crisis. Years of doing what other people tell you to do, one is posed with the moral question of what is ones purpose in life, after which it all unravels quite fast and one feels the need to crawl into bed wishing you could do it all over again. Hoping you could rewind everything and live the way you wanted. But you know that wont happen. It never does.

The problem with the former is that most of us don’t have the strength to be our own person. And if we come across someone who does, or is trying to, we try to pull them down again by telling them that they aren’t good enough.
“I think I’m going mad”- Hatter
“Of course you are. But can I tell you a secret? All the best people are.”- Alice

(Alice in Wonderland)

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